Equality and Feminist Movements In 2013 (Warning: NSFW-Language And Excessive use of caps)--

Alright, I think this blog entry will come to you in two parts.  Because I feel like these two subjects go together perfectly.  Hand and hand.  Also, I think that Feminism is something that needs to be talked about especially from a newbie into the great wide world of BDSM.  Also my gender has recently been used as a means to silence me recently, so I thought that since I could not bring myself out of this downward spiral, I would journal about it.


First of all, a bit of history on the difference of gender and sex.  Gender and sex are two very different things!  I bet you didn't know that?  If you did, I will give you a slow clap of approval.  Sociologist and various other anthropologists say that sex is something that is biological.  Or in other words something that you are born as.  Male, female, even transsexual.  Now, gender is where it gets tricky and becomes a thing that the society agrees and makes rules for.  It's basically the old school rules of little girls should wear pink and boys wear blue, women work inside while men work outside doing yard work and car repair.  I am not saying I buy into the roles of gender that society gives me, I am just saying that it exists.  After all, as much as I would love it to be otherwise, just because you don't like something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.  However, we do have the chance to change it as a society.

I have recently learned that there is a branch of feminism that exists that says that only until we do away with the idea of gender will we truly be equal.  I can't help but agree.  After all, SOME America is behind the times as far as gender roles.  You know who you little assholes are!  Your the type that think that women don't NEED birth control, women don't NEED to be paid equally, and women's reproductive habits SHOULD be a subject that the man is privy to.  ANYONE who thinks that women are just creatures built for creating babies, being married, and raising a house, I laugh at your stupidity.  To be clear right now, I do not have problems with home makers.  If a woman wants to be a home maker, she should have that ability.  But I do have a problem with home makers not recognized as a job.  And while I am this topic, I have absolutely no problem with a man being a home maker, and if you are a male and a home maker, I give you a standing ovation!  Good job!!  My hat is off to home makers whether they are intentional or forced into that place, they are awesome.  My mom is a home maker and I love her with my whole heart.

Now where was I going with this before I went off on my feminist rant---

RIGHT ASSHOLES!

So, the other day, I was sitting at a place I volunteer.  This place is so religious, it makes Jesus Christ himself scratch his head and say, "Come on now people, this is getting a little heavy handed."  But I do it because I have been doing it since I was a child and I do it to support my family.  Now here is where it gets good, and good here means utterly terrible.

A good friend of mine stands up and is talking.  Trying to promote the payment of the man who leads this organization, who hasn't been paid for outstanding performance (yes this is one of those non profits that pay the leaders) and is trying to keep the lights on to this organization.  And this is when a man jumps up and says and I shit you not, "Well, you shouldn't even hold this office cause you are a woman.  It is unbiblical to hold office as a woman and you shouldn't be doing this."  I looked over at the person talking and I could feel my jaw drop.  The scripture he called into question was:

I Corinthians 14:34
the women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak. Rather, let them be in submission, as in fact the law says.

It was at this time I wanted to stand up and call into question not only the oral history of the bible, how the bible was written by MEN a million years ago, but also where the fuck does he get off?  I mean, how can you say something like that to a volunteer!?  WHAT YEAR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CURRENTLY LIVING IN YOU HOT BAG OF SHIT?!  Alright, I have nothing against organized religion or those that think that women should be silent, I got news for you, THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT HAPPENED!  GET OVER IT!!  God made everyone equal!  A gay white man is just as equal as a black transsexual is as equal as a Mexican straight female!  What the fuck people!?  When will we stop beating each other with religion?  When will we realize that?

Alright, now to make this puppy go full circle.  How does this pertain to BDSM lifestyle?  *Pops knuckles* Here we go.

Equality and feminism is still a very important topic in BDSM and one that I am told by both submissive and dominants is a very important and vital eco-structure in the culture.  No dominant is superior in anyway to submissives.  I am told that in a proper, healthy relationship that no there is not.  A dominant is equal to a submissive.  One cannot exist without the other.  And submissives, if you feel inferior to your dominant outside of play, get out, you are in a a dependent relationship.  If you have more to say on this, please leave a comment.  I am a newbie and only know what I remember to ask about.

Until next post: I hope that you are happy and healthy!

Creepy Vibes and Thoughts Of Paranoia

In my goal to write something at least once every week, I realized today in pre-final-vegetative-state that I should probably write something seeing as how Thursday is a final, and the weekend is studying for my final next Thursday.

Anyway, firstly, may I start my (probably singular) letter for this week, I hope that YOU the reader are happy and safe and relatively unstressed.

Alright, so my thoughts in this blog is going to be something that I have been thinking and contemplating heavily on the last few days.  And when I say contemplate, I mean like lay-awake-think-about-the-universe contemplate.  But I digress.

Being a very studious person, I do homework and read.  Whether it is reading on the subject, or reading blogs of other people, I read it.  Since I am a newbie to the BDSM world, I have been reading and studying.

And you know what theme comes up a lot?  Rape.  And me being a woman and a proud owner of a vagina since '87, you will understand that this is a understandable scary subject.  Now I know that men can be raped, and I recognize it.  This blog is for everyone and something that I think that this blog is very important read.  From what I have read and heard from masters and their submissives, a master should be like your go to person.  Someone you trust!  This is what BDSM is all about from what I can tell.  Trust and communication.  So why is rape allowed to run rampant in this almost Utopian ideal?

Then I have to calmly bring myself to see valid points.  Who is going to do the policing?  What can you do to protect yourself?  It is easy to come across a story online in the BDSM community that someone was taken advantage of or someone even knows of someone who was taken advantage of by a pig under the guise of "master" taking advantage, breaking rules, and causing harm.  I mean, seriously, all you have to do is look.

Now, I am not saying that there are not good stories, but when a story moves me to such a point to write about it, I will.  But this blog is for understanding and awareness.  I feel that Switches, Dominants, and Submissives should know about this.

The blog that I am referring to is a very bravely written journal entry of a woman from Fetlife.  She talks about how she got together with a man "looking for submissives" on Craigslist.  She then meets up with him and events pass where she is brought to his room and her legs are chained to the foot of the bed and she is guided to lean over the bed.  When asked about the safe word, the dominant states "raise your feet off the ground and I will stop" then proceeds to gag her.  So, suffice it to say, the man goes on to beat her with a piece of PVC pipe and rapes her.  Afterward, the after care is a cigarette and telling her to get out.  I was happy to hear this woman going to a munch and protected by masters and dominants when she saw the man.

Now a few days after this, I was contacted by a Dom.  I squealed in delight and clapped my hands, but it quickly turned strange.  On the site, the Dom had no pictures of himself.  I would look over it, but as we are talking, he drops some hints that strike me as yucky.  "I do love an accomodating submissive".  I don't know if this is paranoia or not, please let me know.

Now, onto the important part of this blog.  In fact, if you skimmed to this part, please just read this:

• Submissives - if you have a bad gut vibe, follow it!
• Dominants- Submissiveness is a precious gift not a right.
• Submissives- if you suspect your dominant is abusing you (here I will put in IN ANY WAY!), seek help.  BDSM does not mean victimization.
• Submissives- If your dominant does not perform "after care" ask yourself if your dominant is worth it.
• Submissives- Munches are your friend.  So is Safe Call Network!  Tell a friend who you are meeting and establish a "safe word" if things are not going good!  
• Submissives- Arm yourself with knowledge.
• Submissives- If your possible dominant will not meet you at a munch or public place, be careful
• Submissive- If your possible dominant won't go as slow as you need, be careful!

Alright, but before I leave you on a bad or sad note, I want to tell you a joke that makes you smile.

What is the difference between someone who likes to use toys and someone with a kink?

A someone who likes to use toys, uses a feather; someone with a kink uses the whole chicken!

Also, check out this site if you liked Safe Call Network: http://thenationalsafecallnetwork.org/

If you are a seasoned BDSM veteran, please leave points of view or words of wisdom!  I am still new and do not know the ropes!

New Beginnings, BDSM, and Yogis

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