Creepy Vibes and Thoughts Of Paranoia

In my goal to write something at least once every week, I realized today in pre-final-vegetative-state that I should probably write something seeing as how Thursday is a final, and the weekend is studying for my final next Thursday.

Anyway, firstly, may I start my (probably singular) letter for this week, I hope that YOU the reader are happy and safe and relatively unstressed.

Alright, so my thoughts in this blog is going to be something that I have been thinking and contemplating heavily on the last few days.  And when I say contemplate, I mean like lay-awake-think-about-the-universe contemplate.  But I digress.

Being a very studious person, I do homework and read.  Whether it is reading on the subject, or reading blogs of other people, I read it.  Since I am a newbie to the BDSM world, I have been reading and studying.

And you know what theme comes up a lot?  Rape.  And me being a woman and a proud owner of a vagina since '87, you will understand that this is a understandable scary subject.  Now I know that men can be raped, and I recognize it.  This blog is for everyone and something that I think that this blog is very important read.  From what I have read and heard from masters and their submissives, a master should be like your go to person.  Someone you trust!  This is what BDSM is all about from what I can tell.  Trust and communication.  So why is rape allowed to run rampant in this almost Utopian ideal?

Then I have to calmly bring myself to see valid points.  Who is going to do the policing?  What can you do to protect yourself?  It is easy to come across a story online in the BDSM community that someone was taken advantage of or someone even knows of someone who was taken advantage of by a pig under the guise of "master" taking advantage, breaking rules, and causing harm.  I mean, seriously, all you have to do is look.

Now, I am not saying that there are not good stories, but when a story moves me to such a point to write about it, I will.  But this blog is for understanding and awareness.  I feel that Switches, Dominants, and Submissives should know about this.

The blog that I am referring to is a very bravely written journal entry of a woman from Fetlife.  She talks about how she got together with a man "looking for submissives" on Craigslist.  She then meets up with him and events pass where she is brought to his room and her legs are chained to the foot of the bed and she is guided to lean over the bed.  When asked about the safe word, the dominant states "raise your feet off the ground and I will stop" then proceeds to gag her.  So, suffice it to say, the man goes on to beat her with a piece of PVC pipe and rapes her.  Afterward, the after care is a cigarette and telling her to get out.  I was happy to hear this woman going to a munch and protected by masters and dominants when she saw the man.

Now a few days after this, I was contacted by a Dom.  I squealed in delight and clapped my hands, but it quickly turned strange.  On the site, the Dom had no pictures of himself.  I would look over it, but as we are talking, he drops some hints that strike me as yucky.  "I do love an accomodating submissive".  I don't know if this is paranoia or not, please let me know.

Now, onto the important part of this blog.  In fact, if you skimmed to this part, please just read this:

• Submissives - if you have a bad gut vibe, follow it!
• Dominants- Submissiveness is a precious gift not a right.
• Submissives- if you suspect your dominant is abusing you (here I will put in IN ANY WAY!), seek help.  BDSM does not mean victimization.
• Submissives- If your dominant does not perform "after care" ask yourself if your dominant is worth it.
• Submissives- Munches are your friend.  So is Safe Call Network!  Tell a friend who you are meeting and establish a "safe word" if things are not going good!  
• Submissives- Arm yourself with knowledge.
• Submissives- If your possible dominant will not meet you at a munch or public place, be careful
• Submissive- If your possible dominant won't go as slow as you need, be careful!

Alright, but before I leave you on a bad or sad note, I want to tell you a joke that makes you smile.

What is the difference between someone who likes to use toys and someone with a kink?

A someone who likes to use toys, uses a feather; someone with a kink uses the whole chicken!

Also, check out this site if you liked Safe Call Network: http://thenationalsafecallnetwork.org/

If you are a seasoned BDSM veteran, please leave points of view or words of wisdom!  I am still new and do not know the ropes!